The New Neanderthal
Sharanya points me to this offensive piece by Nirpal Dhaliwal. It’s a version of the usual Manliness stuff that’s been going for some time now, but the thing about Dhaliwal is that he leaves no stone unturned in his quest to… return to the Stone Age. His perspectives on relationships are presented in terms of exactly two letters of the alphabet, alpha and omega.
Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I’d been cheating on her. On the night we got back together, I made strong, passionate love to her. Unfaithful as I’d been, I was not going to let her have me over a barrel for the rest of our marriage. I needed to keep a sense of self and not allow her to mire me in guilt and a desperate quest of forgiveness….Such self-knowledge. I tell you. And here’s another one of Dhaliwal’s attention-seeking efforts from the Times.I am a very difficult man to be with. I know I have caused my wife great pain and anxiety. But she is an adult, and ultimately it is wholly her choice whether she wants to be with me or not - I cannot be anyone other than myself.
Deep down, women love men who stand up to them, who won’t be pushed around. They love men who will look them in the eye and tell them to shut up when their hormonal bickering has become too much.
Such self knowledge and knowledge of women too!
There are, have been for millions of years and will always be, very many shades of human relationships. Not all relationships are the way he describes, neither are all relationships the exact opposite. Reading this article one would get the impression that it is only now that women have power in relationships whereas before women were always pliant and gave in to men. It amazes me when someone paints a picture in stark black and white and claims that is the way things are. You just have to look around to see that they are not. There are strong women, strong men, women willing to compromise and men willing to compromise, women not willing to compromise and men not willing to compromise, pig-headed men and pig-headed women, compassionate women, compassionate men, cruel women, cruel men, etc., etc. If two people are together and remain together, each gets something from the other or there are circumstances beyond their control that compel them to stay together. As long as there’s no crime involved or either party is able to make the decision to stick with the other without undue compulsion, let them be. Who is anyone else to judge?
Fini.
Comment by Sujatha — August 8, 2006 @ 1:09 pm
Acting nice and caring was once just a ruse, used by ugly guys to get laid.
Make way for the Lord and Master, Nirpal Dhaliwal….clarivoyant and insufferable know-it-all.
*puke*
Comment by megha — August 9, 2006 @ 2:21 am
And here’s his wife’s take on the marriage.
http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/biography/story/0,6000,1543533,00.html
Comment by Aishwarya — August 9, 2006 @ 4:42 am
This is his wife
Comment by Aishwarya — August 9, 2006 @ 4:43 am
Suj - good rant!
Megha - you can say that again!
Aishwarya - they seem to be made for each other.
Comment by Uma — August 9, 2006 @ 8:22 am
excellent title!
very true.
he actually sounds quite disturbed.
thanks for the link.
Comment by angry fix — August 9, 2006 @ 10:49 am
Wait! You’re telling me one can make a CAREER out of writing asinine stuff like this? I don’t know what’s worse - the fact that he claims to offer ‘deep insights’ into women, or the fact that he presumes to speak for all men.
I can’t help being somewhat amused by his wife’s article as well (thanks Aishwarya) - I loved the bit where she has a heart-to-heart talk with him and ‘discovers’ that he feels ‘unbelievable pressure’ being married and his attitude is that he’s going to do whatever the hell he wants. She could just have read his pieces in the newspaper instead. I also laughed myself silly over this bit:
“”If we can talk to each other as adults, then maybe we have a chance,” he said”.
Anyone want to bet on this guy’s ability to have a grown-up conversation?
Comment by Falstaff — August 9, 2006 @ 12:28 pm
Anyone want to bet on this guy’s ability to have a grown-up conversation?
Heh. That’s if he’s interested in a conversation…
Comment by Uma — August 9, 2006 @ 1:02 pm
Liz Jones herself is a variety of womanhood that documents its life in painfully boring details about the same god awful painfully boring stuff. Her husband and she have taken pot shots at each other through columns/books are willing it let it all hang. Do their asinine observations need further phookat publicity by way of blog posts on them. Methinks ignoring them is the best way to make them go away.
Comment by Shama — August 10, 2006 @ 7:11 am